Festing Report
Estes, aka Willy Logan, aka Captain Logan
Mad Hackers All-Night "Party"
July 29, 2001
Boulder Compound - South


  • Jaeger, aka Ted Logan
  • Bitscape, aka Ben Kinder
  • bouncing, aka Ken Kinder
  • Estes, aka myself
First Entry
Time: 0118

Not much has been accomplished so far, since all that has happened is people have set up their computers. Ted (I will refer to at least him by his legal name, since that's what I call him) required the least amount of setup, since all he had to do was jiggle the mouse on his computer Ziyal to make it wake up. I came in a close second, frittering away the rest of my time so far wandering around and setting up Star Trek models. Before any of the festors (NOT festers!) showed up, Ted and I staged a photo-shoot on the bridge set we have set up downstairs for the U.S.S. Rosebud (unintentional Citizen Kane reference).

Since the current behavior of the festors (species Festus sapiens) isn't incredibly exciting, I will now resort to describing why we have constructed a bridge set in our basement. Ted and I are making a twisted movie known as the Worst Sci-Fi Trilogy Conclusion Ever, the third installment in this unepic trilogy. We've been working on first-unit shooting for weeks, and I'm really getting frustrated that we haven't been able to shoot three scenes that have been eluding us. We plan to shoot two of them tommorrow, no wait, that would be today. I don't know if I've ever stayed up this late before (time: 0126). I haven't keeled over from exhaustion yet.

Second Entry
Time: 0129

New festor: Kiesa Fantasia, aka Gem Stone, time 0103. Only virtual, though. She is currently somewhere in Washington state, maybe Longview. Ted is "testing things" by "instant messaging" Gem. I thought that was an AOL thing. No progress so far by the Festus sapiens, as far as I can tell.

Third Entry
Time: 0133

Ted and Bitscape are attempting to feed Yanni music through some speakers down here. They're having a lot of trouble, and seem to be generating awful feedback or whatever noises when they plug things together. Time: 0135, success, I think.

Fourth Entry
Time: 0136

Prospective festor Zanlinks, aka Scott Briggs, has cancelled. Perhaps I should go upstairs and get my real journal and write in it. I wonder if the Festus sapiens will be appalled, amused, or other. We'll see.

Fifth Entry
Time: 0151

Reaction: other (please specify): they took no notice.

Ted decided to relocate the desk I was using to hold up the TV, for no apparrent reason. I got the white desk that was Bethany's long ago. I like the red desk better, and I want it back.

Started journnaling with a pen and real paper (gasp!) No reacction.

TEd has informed me that "Zanlinks" is really "Zan Lynx). Not that it matters now.

Sixth entry
Time: 0200
First fortification run

This is a ritual to the Festus sapiens. Three Festus sapiens, plus myself, took off in "Mulder" (an automobile) to procure "fortifications" (laypersons' terms: junk food. don't tell anyone).

Our first attempt, Albertson's, was closed, at 1:00. Next try: illegal U-turn to Safeway. This was successful, and we got n amounts of money worth of junk food, primarily caffienated beverages and gross brands of salsa. We thought something was sidesplittingly funny, and I realized that this was because of our deprived mental state. I threatened Ted and the others that, in a few hours, I will captivate them by my Hikaru Sulu impression. Ted said that he was already captivated at the mere thought of it.

WE left Safeway and headed back to the Boulder commune south. It's hard to type in a car.

Seventh entry
Time: 0234

Gem report (by subspace) that they have come out with a "Complete Idiots' Guide to Yahoo." Has this go too far? Um, yes. I suggested that they come out with "The Complete Idiots' Guide to The Complete Idiots Guide Series."

Next came the opening services, with bouncing presiding. He say, "In the days when Dimitri (Bitscape: free dmitri!) is jailed for, um, free speech..." and I forget the rest. Then he toasted, "To Dmitri!" then to something I don't remember, then "to the EFF" and I don't know what that stands for. Then, "shall we consume?"

Bitscape pulled a great stunt that invovled opening his fizzy beverage, and ramming it into his mouth, but not before getting soda all over his shirt. Smooth.

Ted: When freedom is outlawed...

Bitscape: Only outlaws have freedom.

bouncing returned from a short sojourn to parts unknown, then extolled the virtues of "french fry-flavored chemicals." He then offered me some "Chemi-fries." I accepted after I took my retainer out. I would certainly rather have real French fries.

Why am I so out of it now, and why have I lost almost all sense for grammar? Well, for one reason, I'm slightly tired, but the real reason is that I'm trying to type quickly. Sorry about that paragraph at the end of the last page.

Eight Entry
Time: 0246

This is definately later than I've ever stayed up before. I think my previous record was "Love Liberty Disco Night," New Year's Day, 2000, to 1:00 am. We celebrated the end of the world in the next time zone, and fake-disco danced our heads off (at least B and I did.) Of course, on that day, we had to go to church the next day (the discussion topic in Sabbath School was the Columbine massacre, which by then was ancient history. Our leader observed that we didn't seem very with it, and I observed that it's hard to be when you were up at 1 in the morning doing the Love Liberty Disco. It seemed obvious to me. I digress...wait, there is no intelligible topic here.)

Ninth entry
Time: 0251

Evidently, this opening ceremony is done on every fest right after the Festus sapiens procure caffiene. bouncing think that he wasn't dramatic enough this time, and "let down the crew."

Ted has decided taht there is no need for him to try to record the fest, since there is an actual anthropologist (me) in the midst of the Festus sapiens. I said that the correct term would probably be "biologist" (Jane Goodall-style," but then clarified that to be "Criminally Insame Historian for the Criminally Insane." That sounds appropriate.

The Festus sapiens seem hard at work on their consoles. I haven't the slightest clue what any of them are doing, but I can make some guesses. bouncing is playing with sizing and resizing windows (a truly invigorating activity, I'm sure). Bitscape is munching on chips and typing in windows with text in living purple. Ted's typing in more windows, but without any exciting purple (well, more of a magenta).

I'd better start moving, or I'll fall asleep. If I'm going to get through this fest without ingesting any caffiene, then I'll need some help from elsewhere (I don't even like caffiene. I must be a festing first).

Tenth Entry
Time: 0304

During my absence to upstairs, the Festus sapiens initiated a conversation about Babylon 5. It was terminated soon after I returned. No valuable insight was gained.

Then, bouncing wondered if we had actually beaten John Travolta for the title of "The Worst Sci-Fi Movie Ever." He complained for a few minutes about the cinematography that was horrible, blah, blah, blah. Maybe I should see this movie for myself.

A discussion on search engines began, and I was soon bragging about the fact that when I search for "Willy Logan" on Google, my site comes up first.

There's a new search engine out, called Teoma. The Festus sapiens searched for both their legal and fake names, and their respective sites appeared sooner than on the same Google search.

Eleventh Entry
Time: 0314

Tiredness begins to set in, and I combat it but attempting to type more. Unfortunately, I have very little to write about, except something about Bitscape's webpage.

Bitscape's "less well-known handle" Shadowkiller is probably the name "fashoinable European light," according to bouncing.

Also according to bouncing, Fox passes off throwing someone into a pit full of snakes on live television as "reality." Perhaps they should strap cameras to the tops of our heads to get "reality," says Bitscape. That, of course, would yield "Hatcam." I would avoid that like the Spice Girls.

Jaeger thinks that the Carmel "Frappucuino" is rather good. bouncing informs me that the name is Greek for "generic". He also went off onto a speil about how I will, in effect, now be maintaining "Festing.org", because I said I wouldn't.

Twelth Entry
Time: 0324
Computer roll call
  • bouncing: Lisa
  • Bitscape: Argo
  • Jaeger: Ziyal, Ganges, and Yukon
  • Me: Aquarius

Ted informed me that I am treading "daaaaaaaaaaaangerously" close to now maintaining the Festing.org site. Yikes. But that's kind of cool, that I would be selected for this honor without even a full fest to my credit. Not yet at least.

Thirteenth Entry
Time: 0328

I'm trying to determine how much of the primordial wierdness of the Festors is instinct, and which of it is well-established tradition. Evidently, this depraved practice has been going on for six years, and Ted was my age when he held the first Fest. How is obvious (loads of caffiene), but why is the conjecture of the shrinks out there. I'm not one. I can act like one, but only for a minute or two.

So, to make this a fest, I'll have to stay up to 4:00, which is in a few minutes. My goodness, I will sure be ready to do that when the time comes. I am havingn so much trouble staying awake. I'm slipping into a semi-concious state. I can't focus at all, but that might be the fault of the movie I'm watching. My grammar skills are going out the window, and I have a headache.

Fourteenth Entry
Time: 0349

There's about nothing new that has happened since the last entry, but I must do something to stay a wake, for I'll surely fall asleep if I just watch that movie. I must focus on somthing, or it will be invariable that I will slide into a state of complete and utter unknowingness. Now something cool is happeing, however, since we're watching a movie of Mars (animation) by JPL, accompanied by Holst's The Planets Mars.

Fifteenth Entry
Time: 0355

Wow, I hope that Gem isn't still awake, because I really shouldn't be. My headache is getting worse. I definately will not be at my best tommorrow for my acting job in The Worst Sci-Fi Trilogy Conclusion Ever.

The current thing on this movie isbn't helpibng my headache, because it involves a bunch of spinning art. Static art give me headaches enough.

Now this animation is trying to prove that CGI can have sex appeal.. It doesn't succeed.

Sixteenth Entry
Time: 0400

The time has come that I can officially retire and call it a morning. I'd rather wait to see the sun rise, because that would definately be the LaGrange point that marked the transition from night to day, and actually be the first time that I spent the night up. This will not be something I do a lot. My head hurts. I've got to get a drink of water.

Seventeeth Entry
Time: 0411

I have less than two hours left before the sun rises. Then, I'm goiing to go to sleep. Right now, Ted just displayed a nude picture of some lady onto Bitscape's computer. Evidently, its from there. There was some vague discussion about this earlier, and I guessed what it really was. Bitscape says this is an all-time low, but its his computer's fault. Now, Bitscape is going off about how much he dislikes his awful computer, and how he might make it walk home. I'd like to see that.

Eighteenth Entry
Time: 0421

bouncing can feel his mind getting smaller watching a music video. That's what they're for, after all.

Nineteenth Entry
Time: 0501

Now both Ted and Bitscape have their desktops as the same rendered naked lady. I imagine that this will not be listed in Ted's changelog for the fest. Actually, I'm quite certain. But remember, she is rendered. I can tell it from over here.

I was able to program more lines of code than miligrams of caffiene ingested, which wasn't very hard, since I haven't had any caffiene so far, and I probably won't ever. I created a nine-line BASIC program that calculated Ted's karma. He has a level of 300-something, which, according to the program, is very bad.

Staying awake is becoming easier, and for some reason, my sinuses feel better. No headache, either, at least not a very bid one.

No more exciting developments with the Festus sapiens, except for a slight debate about keyboard layouts. Nothing major.

Twentieth Entry
Time: 0533

Wow, I have now spent almost all of the night awake, and the sun is beginning to rise. This is really wierd. I have never done anything like this before, and I'm not too keen on repeating it. I just went outside a few minutes ago and saw that the sky was turning blue, and only two stars remained. I have no idea which ones they were, but they were probably rather prominent ones if they were still shining. The east had a slight gilged band on it, and I realized that the sun was going to rise soon.

This was much more enjoyable than what I was doing ten minutes before: crouching in a corner, trying to remove a cord that wouldn't even work for the purpose I had in mind. Then, I searched through our stash of filters for black-and-white still cameras. I wanted to use a green filter for The Worst Sci-Fi Trilogy Conclusion Ever, but this one won't work.

This mad self-torture is finally coming to an end. It was fun, but a little miserable at times. Finally, the true clarity of morning is washing over me, and I am going to go to be very soon. Just as soon as the sun comes up.

Twenty-first entry
Time: 0544

I'm now sitting on the rocks of our landscaping overlooking the front lawn, wating for the moment of sunrise. I'm not certain when it will come, or even why I am typing about this, but almost a full day without sleep will make anyone a little batty. Perhaps the newspaper has come, and it says the time of sunrise...

Nope, it hasn't, but here it comes right this very moment. Wierd. That was improbable.

According to the paper, the sun will rise at 0557. That's still a few minutes away.

It gets kind of cool here at night, because the rock I'm sitting on is downright chilly.

Each festor submitted a name for the title of this nearly-past fest. Bitscape suggested "The Wallpaper Fest," bouncing suggested that this was a rather productive fest (maybe it was the other way around). Ted said the "Total Distractions Fest," and I suggested "Total Mayhem." I like my idea best.

The first fest I ever attended was in July of 1998, and it was insufferably boring. Today's fest would have been exactly the same, were it not for Aquarius, which I wrote all of this ridiculous stuff on.

Twenty-second Entry
Time: 0556

The sun looks pretty risen to me, but I can't really tell, because a huge house is obstructing my view. I'm going to bed now.

Twenty-third Entry
Time: 0601

This is my final entry for this ridicoulous log of the happenings at this fest. I'm going to be.